Sunday, December 28, 2008

Reflections..

Of late it's only tags that's keeping my blog alive and so I decided to add one more to the list. I promise this will be the last in this year :P In fact Jolly Roger had tagged me last year and I'm taking this up after exactly an year !!! Better late than never..

I think I can easily say 2008 was the toughest year in my life. In January, I lost my dad and in December(rather yesterday night), I lost my pet dog. My mom was inconsolable coz after I came to B'lore, the only two beings whom she was used to is no longer there, creating a huge void which can't be filled at all..

1. What did I learn?
Lot of things but mainly handling loss and taking more responsibility.

2. What did I accomplish?
Probably a better understanding of myself. Also I guess this year I was more expressive about my feelings and emotions especially in a public forum like this. Initially I had lot of reservations even to make my blog public but now it's more easier for me to blog about my feelings rather than talk to someone in person(although I am not sure whether it is good or bad)

3. What would I have done differently?
I am normally a person who doesn't have any regrets, but there is one thing that I feel I should have done differently. Emotionally I am a brick wall and usually keeps all the sentiments to myself. Last year for my dad's b'day I wrote this post and left it at that. I never bothered to tell him how much he meant to me although I knew he would have been very happy reading that.. In fact one of my dad's friend who is in Canada saw this post and he took a printout to show it to him. But by the time he came it was too late and all the words are still left unsaid...

4. What did I complete or release?
Professionally? Release is a word we use mostly in office and so I'm tempted to write about that. We did one major release and two minor releases for our product. considering the fact that the team is totally new with lots of freshers I feel this is really an achievement.

5. What were the most significant events of the year past?
Do I have to repeat it again? But may be on a happier note I had a beautiful niece last month.

6.What did I do right?
I would like to believe that I did everything right to the best of my knowledge and ability. Of course I might have made mistakes but it's all a learning experience.

7. What were the fun things I did?
I took a much needed vacation in Thailand. Some new things that I tried out are Para sailing and under sea walking and yeh it indeed was real fun.

8. What were my biggest challenges/roadblocks/difficulties?

Balancing the time spent for blogging/blog hopping and other things that interests me in life(like reading, sketching, crafts etc) ;) Hopefully next year I can find a healthier balance and be more creative :)

9. How am I different this year than last?
Not much different I'm afraid.

10. For what am I particularly grateful?

Friends and family who always stood by me and is my support system

That's all from my side. Since it is a New Year meme anyone and everyone is free to take this up. Do let me know once you have completed it.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

10 simple ways to save yourself from messing up your life

1. Stop taking so much notice of how you feel.
How you feel is how you feel. It’ll pass soon. What you’re thinking is what you’re thinking. It’ll go too. Tell yourself that whatever you feel, you feel; whatever you think, you think. Since you can’t stop yourself thinking, or prevent emotions from arising in your mind, it makes no sense to be proud or ashamed of either. You didn’t cause them. Only your actions are directly under your control. They’re the only proper cause of pleasure or shame.

2. Let go of worrying. It often makes things worse.
The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. When you’re hair-trigger primed to notice the first sign of trouble, you’ll surely find something close enough to convince yourself it’s come.

3. Ease up on the internal life commentary.
If you want to be happy, stop telling yourself you’re miserable. People are always telling themselves how they feel, what they’re thinking, what others feel about them, what this or that event really means. Most of it’s imagination. The rest is equal parts lies and misunderstandings. You have only the most limited understanding of what others feel about you. Usually they’re no better informed on the subject; and they care about it far less than you do. You have no way of knowing what this or that event really means. Whatever you tell yourself will be make-believe.

4. Take no notice of your inner critic.
Judging yourself is pointless. Judging others is half-witted. Whatever you achieve, someone else will always do better. However bad you are, others are worse. Since you can tell neither what’s best nor what’s worst, how can you place yourself correctly between them? Judging others is foolish since you cannot know all the facts, cannot create a reliable or objective scale, have no means of knowing whether your criteria match anyone else’s, and cannot have more than a limited and extremely partial view of the other person. Who cares about your opinion anyway?

5. Give up on feeling guilty.
Guilt changes nothing. It may make you feel you’re accepting responsibility, but it can’t produce anything new in your life. If you feel guilty about something you’ve done, either do something to put it right or accept you screwed up and try not to do so again. Then let it go. If you’re feeling guilty about what someone else did, see a psychiatrist. That’s insane.

6. Stop being concerned what the rest of the world says about you.
Nasty people can’t make you mad. Nice people can’t make you happy. Events or people are simply events or people. They can’t make you anything. You have to do that for yourself. Whatever emotions arise in you as a result of external events, they’re powerless until you pick them up and decide to act on them. Besides, most people are far too busy thinking about themselves (and worry what you are are thinking and saying about them) to be concerned about you.

7. Stop keeping score.
Numbers are just numbers. They don’t have mystical powers. Because something is expressed as a number, a ratio or any other numerical pattern doesn’t mean it’s true. Plenty of lovingly calculated business indicators are irrelevant, gibberish, nonsensical, or just plain wrong. If you don’t understand it, or it’s telling you something bizarre, ignore it. There’s nothing scientific about relying on false data. Nor anything useful about charting your life by numbers that were silly in the first place.

8. Don’t be concerned that your life and career aren’t working out the way you planned.
The closer you stick to any plan, the quicker you’ll go wrong. The world changes constantly. However carefully you analyzed the situation when you made the plan, if it’s more than a few days old, things will already be different. After a month, they’ll be very different. After a year, virtually nothing will be the same as it was when you started. Planning is only useful as a discipline to force people to think carefully about what they know and what they don’t. Once you start, throw the plan away and keep your eyes on reality.

9. Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their own decisions.
To hold yourself responsible for someone else’s success and happiness demeans them and proves you’ve lost the plot. It’s their life. They have to live it. You can’t do it for them; nor can you stop them from messing it up if they’re determined to do so. The job of a supervisor is to help and supervise. Only control-freaks and some others with a less serious mental disability fail to understand this.

10. Don’t worry about about your personality. You don’t really have one.
Personality, like ego, is a concept invented by your mind. It doesn’t exist in the real world. Personality is a word for the general impression that you give through your words and actions. If your personality isn’t likable today, don’t worry. You can always change it, so long as you allow yourself to do so. What fixes someone’s personality in one place is a determined effort on their part—usually through continually telling themselves they’re this or that kind of person and acting on what they say. If you don’t like the way you are, make yourself different. You’re the only person who’s standing in your way.

Got this as a forward sometime back. Wanted to share it with you
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in advance :)
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