If there is one thing I hate the most, that is when people try to convince me to consider some particular guy..And I have no clue how they come up with this idea that it will be an "ideal match".These so called "abyudayakamshikal" would have no clue about the girl or the guy and their interests in life.. Some instances that I have gone through..
One evening a neighbor cum far relative comes home with three other people - a dad , mom and their son. I treated them as any other guests and finally when they were about to leave I realized that it was an official "girl seeing" that took place there. The guy was in the USA and had come down for a short vacation (read marriage). Apparently they wanted some girl who is bright so that the next generation would be brainy(genes u see). Since I had got into engineering with a decent rank, I matched their criteria of "brilliant" and fell in their radar. The funny thing was although they wanted a professional girl they didn't want the girl to take up a career and so wanted me to terminate my studies, get married and cook for him !! That time I was in my first semester and marriage was not even in my wildest dreams.. Even age wise I had just turned 18 (and this guy was 30+). Luckily my parents didn't agree for the "discontinuing studies" part and so I was saved. But my poor parents got 'galies' from whole family for not considering such a "good proposal" from such a "nice family". I have no idea how the "nice family" matters if the guy and girl don’t get along well!!
I had done my B.Tech project in VSSC, Trivandrum and so we used to take the night train for our frequent travels. We used to board the train from Thrissur at around 10.30 pm , sleep , wake at 4.30 am and get down at around 5 am. In one of those journeys we met this lady who was going to Dubai. Her flight was from Trivandrum airport. All of us ( we were 4 girls doing the project) had woken up and was waiting for the stop and this lady started chit chatting (Somehow I'm always the victim for all kathis in this world !!) . She asked me why we are traveling and I told her about the project. She hadn't heard about B.Tech and so asked me whether it is a degree course n I replied affirmatively. Then she was suddenly interested in my place, religion n caste which made me uncomfortable. Her next question was whether I can marry her brother!!! It seems he was working in Dubai and the biggest incentive that she offered me was that he'll take me to Dubai. She tried desperately to get my home phone no so that they can proceed through parents!! What astonished me was the fact that she was seeing me for the first time(that too only for 15 mins) and had absolutely no idea about me or my family or anything and still wants me to be part of her family!
And there is another place that I dread - marriage halls - especially the ones in the family. All your relatives(most of them will be seeing you for the first time) will come up with some or other prospective groom somewhere. Once I had to put up with one particular "uncle" who was hell bound in marrying me off to his nephew. He made me listen to his nephew's accomplishments for a whole 3 hours!!! After that I was so pissed off that I missed enjoying that much awaited marriage in the family..
And sometimes even friends will fall in this category.. They will try to fix you up with every other person whom "they feel" is suitable for me. And if that guy is a good friend of yours that's it. Many a times I have got his question "You both are very good friends. They why can't you consider him". Sometimes this will follow a big list of positives that I can enjoy if I marry him. I have a friend who even threated to break our friendship unless I considered this guy whom she found was "very suitable" for me. And the culmination is when my mom asked me the other day "You and X are being friends for so many years. Do you want to marry him?". I just wished a chasm had opened at my feet and I was taken in like Sita Devi.. How can I convince people that I'm not looking for a prospective groom in every guy I meet or that a friendship is far different than sharing your life with a partner. I do understand that people don't particularly like a girl staying unmarried. But I feel it's a person’s right to make a choice and everyone should respect that..
PS: You can also check this related article from one of my favorite blogger.